Thais That BindThais that BindAfter my last adventure, which involved trekking across the Himalayas, I decided my 2009 adventure would be faster and involve fewer heavy loads. Oh, and would not mean eating very basic Indian food, and sleeping in snow-swept nylon tents. This year, I decided, would be a bike trip.It was all Bwucie’s fault (“Real vans, that’s what they are Bwucie, real vans.”)  Earlier in the year I had told the Forum I wanted to have a look at ‘Nam, and asked for any suggestions. He responded: “What would you want to go there for? Have a look at the Top Gear episodes on it on You Tube”.So I did... and I went off the idea. Thinking I might need to have a gradual build up for ‘Nam, I chose a tour of Northern Thailand instead. This for a number of reasons: • They ride on the same side of the road as us • The roads were said to be sealed • Every hotel except one had a pool (and in all but one of those you could almost see through the crystal clear water to the bottom), • The food is fantastic • I see a lot of Thai girls working round where I used to park the cage in Fort Street and they all seem exceedingly accommodating to passersby, so Thai people are obviously very friendly!I tracked down Avalon Tours, run by B.J., an Austrian living in Thailand with his Thai wife and three kids. He runs small guided tours to suit his own lifestyle. Nice work if you can get it. He was also fluent in Thai, which opened a lot of doors for us, especially way up in the North where they don’t see too many gwiellos, or pale faces.Also on the tour were two other lads, brothers-in-law from Scotland, who were in their mid 40s and unencumbered.  They arrived ready to have a good time, and must have arrived dehydrated because they were very, very thirsty! One of the great joys of this sort of travelling (it was the same when I traversed the Himalayas) is that you don’t know your fellow travellers until you get there. You rationalize this by saying: I am doing this, so it will be someone with similar attitudes and a sense of adventure who will come along. And so it was. My new mates were (and still are!) most excellent fellows: they didn’t get too fussed about anything: even me. We laughed and rode and ate and drank chilled beers for days on end! Can’t really beat that, can you?  We rode Honda Phantoms, local 250cc cruiser style bikes, as in the pictures. All our gear was stowed in the two side panniers and the top box. Plenty of space. And 120 kms on these is still as fast as 120 kms on the R1150 RT, or even the new F650GS.We took our own helmets, with me taking the new Series 6 for its first overseas venture. It worked excellently. My Rallye 2 Pro riding gear, however, was totally OTT for temperatures of 35ºC to 38ºC. I finished up riding in a pair of Levis which I bought from a stall in a night market in Pak Chong. (They only cost me about $20. Why are they so expensive in New Zealand?). That, and the BMW jacket with all linings removed, the flaps open and, at times, the sleeves zipped off. Not as safety conscious as here but appropriate for the climate.In Thailand everybody rides a motor scooter of some description. The roads, roundabouts and streets are swarming with Thais – most of them not wearing helmets – going about their business on bikes, most of which are under 150cc in capacity. They carry one, two, three or even four people, with the smallest person standing up holding the handlebars.What this means is that everyone is used to bikes. Road users expect bikes to pull out, cut in, undertake, overtake, ride up the middle of the lane and perform every other bike-riding dodge at any time. For that reason bikers are safer in Thailand than here in New Zealand, where bikers are treated as a hindrance to other drivers.We started riding about 8am every day, before it got really hot, and stopped for water, coffee or chai, every hour and a half or two hours. The riding was not overly difficult, and we  covered large tracts of countryside. We rode through beautiful landscapes, an abundance of rice paddies, and the tropical rainforests of KhaoYai. We spent time at the ancient temples of Sukhothai (where I lost the bike, pannier and top box keys! Yea! That’s a test for a traveller!) We went north to Thailand’s second-to-largest city, Chiang Mai (known to a lot of Western tourists), and then we got into the mountain-tribe regions where it became chilly and challenging. We went through Chiang Rai, a large and delightful town which was our stepping-off place to visit the Golden Triangle; Mayanma; the Mekong crossing, then into Laos. Until this time I had not know that this country is known as ‘Lao’. Only us gwiellos call it Laos. I had not been to Burma since late ‘73, when I was there as part of an overland trip from London to Singapore. (I then went on to New Zealand aboard the Patris, which caught fire three times in the Indian Ocean. But that’s another story!) Back then we did the “Rangoon-to-Mandalay-then-down-the-Irrawaddy-River-by-riverboat-adventure”. This time, however, we crossed the border to Ta Chi Lek, a noisy Burmese market town. We stayed two hours then re-crossed to Thailand. How many times can you refuse the offers of “genuine Burmese Marlboro” cigarettes, Viagra tablets, (guaranteed to keep you upright on your bike), Oakley shades, or watches of any shape or brand? (Two hours, at a guess -Ed)Then we went on to cross the Mekong River to Laos in those longtailed river boats. Totally gentle and peaceful. We loved it!The last few days of the journey saw us going down the western side of Thailand, making our way to Kanchanaburi, famous as the site of the Bridge over the Kwai River and the Death Railway from Singapore to Burma which was built during World War II. The Death Railway and the Kwai Bridge are not unlike other New Zealand war remembrance sites. It has an aura of spirituality, encouraging us to remember our fathers and uncles and forebears who died there. If it wasn’t for their sacrifice we would not be free to travel there and see what they endured. We owe them so much.We also visited the wonderful so-called “Tiger Temple”, Wat Pa Luangata Bua Yannsampanno. These kittens are seriously big: 7 to 8 metres long lying down. We stroked and patted them, with a guide nearby and the monks offering their protection. On the ride into Kanchanaburi I felt a hitting sensation in my lower back. I didn’t remember collecting a young Thai person of the female persuasion for a lift...so realised it was the cover of the top box thumping me. Holy shiite!! as they say in Muslim countries. I stopped and found the top box open and some of my gear gone with the wind. There was one Croc left (It was the right one, though -Ed) and fortunately my bum bag with passport, iPhone, camera and a large chunk of US dollars were still in place. In fact, the cash was not only enough to only buy a small Thai farm holding but a sensibly sized family of farm workers to assist in the running thereof! (About $US27? -Ed) Lucky break!The last bit of the trip was to ride across the bottom end of Bangkok. Now Bangkok is quite a lot bigger than Huntly. It has a population of 12 million people (as distinct from Huntly which has 1,200 on a good day, including the through traffic). It was gridlock. A billion motors-scooters, trucks, cars, vans and SUVs (well, not too many of those...) all belching exhaust fumes into your face, and all in nearly 40ºC temperatures. Then back to Jontien from where we set out all those ages ago.Apart from that it was great!So in hindsight, the first question is not too different to that standard human resources question: “Would you employ this person again?” Here the question is: “Would you do this again?”I have already asked Auckland University if they can let me teach my course this year, because that pays for these adventures, and all three of us have organising to do the Mekong trip later this year. This is a journey along the Mekong with all the excitement that that entails. Not actually on the Mekong... not too many amphibious bikes even in those parts! And with B.J. along for the ride it will be as mad as this one was!doo lae rák-s_a Paul TremewanIf any Member wants to know more about how to have a wonderful time riding in a great climate with good people, eating exquisite food and having a few bevies in great company, I am happy to give details on how to do this. No, seriously, I am! Contact my mate B.J. at http://www.tours.avalon-world.biz ps: I am tryng to get the pictures added to this story