Before I start blazing off messages to the Ministers for Police (sadly, also my local MP), Transport and especially ACC, could anybody give me a quick rundown on the requirements for the legal operation of these mini pests on the road (Mr Bell, maybe)?

I had a tiny altercation with a rider of one on my way home from work last night. After he had done 150 metres over double yellows at a busy intersection, against oncoming traffic, and then cut a right hander through a red light, BETWEEN the oncoming, I called him a lackwit (well, something like that) as he passed just in front of my stationary push bike. He then took offence, put his bike on the stand, and rushed back up to my bike: I did not think he had rushed back to lodge a land claim on the intersection. We had a small conversation, wherein he asked me what I called him, so I said anyone who rode that way was a "lackwit", and he said, "You honky "thing", I'm going to smash you unconscious!"

At this stage I was anticipating imminent pain: with one foot on the floor, one still clipped in the pedal, and both hands holding up my bike I was somewhat ill prepared for pugilism. Fortunately, he continued to verify my ID of him as a "lackwit" by attempting a headbutt, so I ducked my face and let him plant his open face-helmeted kisser in the top of my bicycle helmet, which took his mind off his stated objective. At this point some of the fifty or so onlookers around the scene were expressing interest in joining proceedings on my behalf, so he swanned off. Lucky me!

That is of no interest to the lawMAKERS in the gummint: the operation of those vehicles should be.

They are low (below Remuera tractor, or even some cars', bonnet height). They do not require a bike license = the riders have had zero training. You can't complain about them if you are on two wheels, unless you have a Baehr hooked up to your cell phone (on my push bike?), because they have no number plate, you would have to trail them until the law turned up (in South Auckland, sometime next month, maybe). Many of them have no taillight, stoplight or indicators.

And when the riders get smeared out across the road, guess which ACC pool statistics they will get lumped in with? Like we don't pay enough, already. There is my issue.

Mr Bell? Any others? What legal constraints are there against these machines currently (never mind the Queensbury Rules, I'll maybe not be so flip with my lip to avoid that in future.)